Spiderjuice

Possibly my most traumatic experience in Japan to date

Japan has some really big spiders. Where I live, you can't get through a summer without encountering at least a dozen hand-sized spiders. Since I got here, Bill has been warning me about what he considers the most traumatic way to encounter a spider: to be in a bathroom stall, pull out a stretch of toilet paper, and find a giant spider sitting and waiting on said stretch. Apparently this has happened once before. Well, through experience, I came up with an even moretraumatic way to meet a giant spider:

I arrived at the church like I do every Friday morning at 8:45, turned on the lights, the water pot, and the air-conditioner (which is a small unit mounted on the wall above the window). But what's that noise?The flap on the air-conditioner that directs the airflow has opened only half-way, and because of the sound of frustrated whining electric motors punctuated by clicking, I can tell that it's stuck. Presently there is a sharp BANG as something is SHOT from the vent, barely missing my FACE, hitting the ground next to my feet with a loud THUD like a beanbag. It was a huge spider, and fortunately it had been killed by the pressure of the air flap before being hurled out in my general direction. Around the bulky corpse was a puddle of spiderjuice.